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Teen dates in America
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美国少年如何交往？
美国的少男少女们相互之间的交往是如何的呢？虽然他们生长的环境和我们有很大的不同，但在某些方面，也许我们还是可以找到共同点的。
WHEN does dating begin for teenagers in America? Earlier and earlier, it seems. It is often difficult these days to distinguish a 12-year-old girl from her 17-year-old sister if a mother permits the younger one to dress and wear make-up as her sister does. Physically, each generation's girls are bigger, and this physical bigness often deceives parents into believing that emotional development necessarily follows size.
In a young girl's life there are periods when one boy seems to be more in evidence than others. When this becomes quite obvious the family often undertakes to reduce him in status in various ways. Puppy love is serious to the lovers, if a little ludicrous to parents, brothers, and sisters, but it should be respected, for it has its painful aspects. Very few daughters really wish to settle their affections for life on a teenage boy when it comes right down to it, though the fantasy of undying devotion is very evident for a time.
In large cities where many children must necessarily achieve independence early, boys and girls in their early teens are allowed to go unaccompanied to lunch, the movies, the theatre, rock concerts, and sporting events. The kind of entertainment the young couple goes to must be approved of by both sets of parents. They should be thoroughly aware of the penalties for breaking the laws governing the legal age for drinking.
Many parents feel safe in permitting their teenage children to go to places at night with a group of other boys and girls. Its whereabouts are known by the parents at all time, and no unaccountable junketing around the countryside in some boy's car is allowed. Adolescents want rules and need them. They do not respect the too “easy” parents.
At what age a boy dates depends very much on the boy himself. And again physical size bears no relation to emotional readiness. Anywhere from 13 or 14 on, a boy may be ready to leave the teasing group of boys and go on his first date. His family will be well prepared for the metamorphosis that may occur.
The first sign, of course, is cleanliness. He will suddenly begin bathing without reminders, lengthily combing his hair before setting out for school instead of merely running the comb — or more likely, his fingers — through it. Suddenly his shoes may seem to take on a polish, and he will stop biting his fingernails. He will require two or three times his usual number of clean shirts, and he will even take an unusual interest in ties, socks and handkerchiefs, hitherto items of no interest at all. He may also beg into agitate about is inadequate allowance and start wondering out loud how he can augment it by a little manual labour. He constantly asks if anyone notices how deep his voice is getting. It is usually Mother who sees the signs first. She knows instinctively that her son is about to take his first steps away from her apron strings. Most of what she can do for him she has already done. Soon he will probably turn more and more to his father for counsel, or to some father substitute.
Boys usually begin by going to games and school dances stag. They yearn from the sidelines, while pretending a vast lack of interest in the equally cohesive girls. After a certain amount of this, mothers often suggest, “Joe, why don't you take Mary to the game this afternoon?” This is usually met with a derisive snort, but soon, sure enough, Mary and Joe are eating popcorn together in the bleachers. As a result of the motherly approval he needed, Joe has probably blurted, “You want to go to the game tomorrow, Mary?” and Mary has said, “Sure.” From then on, making dates is easy enough.
在美国，十几岁的少年什么时候开始与异性约会呢？似乎是越来越早了。如今，倘若母亲允许小女儿可以像大女儿一样化妆打扮，那么，你就往往很难区分哪个是17岁的姐姐，哪个是12岁的妹妹。从体形上看，女孩子一代比一代长得高大，这种体形上的高大，经常会使父母错误地相信她们的情感也会和生理同步发展成熟。
在一个少女的生活中，总会有那么一段日子和某个男孩的交往明显多于其他男孩。父母发现这一情况后，经常会采取各种方式降低这个男孩在女孩心目中的地位。孩子的初恋对于父母、哥哥、姐姐来说似乎有点幼稚可笑，但对于恋人来说却是非常严肃的，理应受到尊重，因为初恋亦有令人痛苦的一面。说到底，真正想把自己一生的爱情都寄托在一个十几岁的男孩身上的女孩是很少的，但在某一段时间里她会幻想自己的爱情会至死不渝。
在大城市，许多孩子必须尽早地独立。父母允许十三四岁的少男少女单独结伴出去吃饭、看电影、看戏、参加摇滚音乐会，或观看体育比赛，但娱乐活动的内容首先必须得到双方家长同意。他们不能去迪斯科舞厅或夜总会，另外，他们还应该清醒地知道，如果违反了有关饮酒法定年龄的法律，将会受到什么样的处罚。
许多父母感到，晚上让十几岁的孩子和一群男女伙伴一起外出是安全的，只要自始至终知道他们的行踪便可。但不能让孩子坐着某个男孩的汽车，去郊外搞什么说不出名堂的野餐。青春期的孩子既缺少约束，又需要约束。他们不会尊重对儿女太“放任自流”的父母。
男孩从什么时候开始和女孩约会，主要取决于其本人。在这方面，男孩的身体是否已发育成熟与他在感情上是否已经做好准备无关。从十三四岁开始，一个男孩可能会离开那群爱戏弄别人的男孩，开始第一次单独约会。父母对孩子身上可能发生的巨大变化将有充分的准备。
当然，第一个迹象是孩子变得爱干净了，突然之间，他会自己去洗澡，不用父母提醒；早上去学校之前，他会仔细地梳理头发，而不再像以前那样随便地梳两下或只用手指理一理；突然之间，他的皮鞋总像是刚上过鞋油一样锃亮，他也不再咬手指甲了。他会要求父母为他买数量比以前多一到两倍的衬衫；对以前从不感兴趣的领带、袜子、手帕等东西，现在也变得异常关注；他还会埋怨零花钱不够用，大声地央求父母让他干一些体力活，以增加收入；他总是问别人是否注意到他的嗓音正在变粗。通常，母亲会首先注意到这些迹象。她本能地感觉到，儿子即将走出她的控制范围，她能为儿子做的大多都已经完成了。儿子将越来越多地转向父亲或可以替代父亲作用的人去寻求意见和忠告。
男孩一开始总是不带女友前去观看比赛和参加舞会。他们站在场外，心里渴望着身边有个女孩，可是表面上却装着对那些同样聚集在那儿的女孩不屑一顾。过了一段日子，母亲常会建议说：“乔， 为什么下午不带玛丽一起去看比赛啊？”儿子通常听后会嗤之以鼻。但不久后，乔和玛丽肯定会一起坐在运动场的露天看台上，一边看比赛，一边吃爆玉米花。由于已经得到了母亲的许可，乔某一天就会对玛丽脱口说道：“玛丽，明天你想去看比赛吗？”玛丽说：“当然。”从此，约会就变得很容易了。
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